A Guide to Bridal Shower Guest Lists that Goes Beyond Tradition

Deciding who to invite to a bridal shower requires the party planner to balance tradition with the bride’s personal preferences. This is true whether you’re planning a bridal shower as the bride herself, or as a close friend or relative of the bride.

It may require you to navigate issues like:

• Family politics and expectations (particularly when dealing with in-laws and complex family structures
• Mixing social circles (for instance, university friends and work colleagues)
• Planning a modern celebration that fits your vision and budget without breaking etiquette rules

Not to fear! We’re here to walk you through the process of creating an ideal bridal shower invite list. From selecting your core roster of essential guests to extending your invites and locating other important resources for seamless bridal shower planning, we have you covered.

Table of Contents:

• Essential Guests List Invitees
• Fresh Takes on Guest List Rules
• Essential Planning Resources

Essential Guests: Your Core Celebration Circle

Family first

Begin your list of bridal shower guests with immediate family must-invites like the bride and groom’s mothers, the bride’s family (sisters and female cousins in particular), and other close female relations. In most cases, this will be the easiest part of assembling the guest list, as the choices are pretty straightforward for most families.

However, navigating blended family relationships can require a bit of extra thoughtfulness and consideration. When making decisions about inviting relatives like step parents, step siblings, and former spouses, use your judgement to assess what is most appropriate and prioritise the feelings and comfort of the bride.

The wedding party circle

Toward the top of the list of who to invite to a bridal shower are the members of the wedding party, including the maid of honour and bridesmaids. This group will often overlap with the bride’s closest friends, but make sure to invite close friends as well (more on this in the next section), whether or not they’re officially in the bridal party.

How about plus-ones?

What about the question of plus-ones? Most bridal showers don’t allow invitees to bring a guest, because they’re meant to be intimate celebrations with those closest to the bride. But if you decide to go the non-traditional route in this regard, you can mention on the invitation that plus-ones are allowed.

Including men in bridal showers

Speaking of breaking from shower tradition: are bridal showers for women only, or do men go to bridal showers, too? Traditionally, men are not invited to bridal showers, but some couples reject this convention in favour of a co-ed shower or couple’s shower. In these cases, not only will the groom be invited, but sometimes also the groom’s female friends and close male friends.

Deciding whether to invite out-of-town guests

In addition, some wedding party members might live out of town, which means they may not be able to make it to the shower. So: do you invite out-of-town guests to a bridal shower? In these cases, you’ll have to use your discretion—and you can always go ahead and invite them with the caveat that you totally understand they may not be able to attend. 

Alternatively, you can plan a virtual (or hybrid virtual and in-person) shower to include long-distance guests—we’ll discuss this in more detail later on in this article.

Friends who feel like family

The bride’s closest friends—meaning the friends who feel as close as family—should definitely be invited to her shower. These can include friend groups from different life stages, from childhood to university and beyond, as well as long-term family friends. 

When it comes to workplace relationships, the etiquette for bridal shower guest lists is a little less cut and dried. Co-workers who the bride is truly close with should be included, but that doesn’t mean you have to invite all her co-workers to this intimate, personal celebration.

Advice on mixing different social circles

Bringing together different social circles who don’t normally interact—for instance, groups of childhood friends, university friends, and work colleagues—can be challenging.

One of the best ways to navigate this is by incorporating thoughtful icebreakers to help everyone get to know each other better. You can also seat guests who don’t know each other together to encourage them to interact with new people. By the end of the shower, your guests might very well be leaving with some new friends!

Here are a couple of examples of how bridal shower hosts navigated the challenge of mixing the bride’s social circles:

One bride hosted a themed tea party for her bridal shower, seating her university and childhood friends in mixed groups and including a set of cards with fun conversation prompts on every table. 

At another bridal shower, the maid of honour planned an activity where each guest shared a brief story about the bride-to-be. This created instant common ground among different friend groups. They focused on their shared love of their friend, which is what bridal showers should be all about!

Fresh Takes on Traditional Guest List Rules

Finding balance: unique guest list situations

Concerned about the prospect of blending different friend and family groups at your shower? A solution that works for some brides is to throw multiple showers instead of trying to assemble one guest list with lots of disparate social groups. For instance, you might have one shower with family, and one with friends and co-workers. 

In general, keep in mind that it’s considered poor etiquette to invite the same guests to multiple showers—with the exception of close family or members of the bridal party—as it can put implicit pressure on guests to give multiple shower gifts.

If you’re having a destination wedding, your bridal shower guest list may end up being a lot more selective. After all, not all of your wedding invitees may be able to make it to the wedding itself. However, rather than prioritising the traditional expectation that everyone at your bridal shower should also be at your wedding, consider continuing to include close friends and family who may not be able to travel for the wedding.

Setting the scene

The question of how many guests to invite will also depend on the nature of your bridal shower venue. 

Most venues will clearly list their capacity guidelines. Once you have a sense of how many guests you want to invite, you can find venues that work for the size of your party. Alternatively, if you already have a specific venue in mind, you should check their capacity guidelines to make sure your guest list doesn’t exceed those.

Besides size, there are some other key details to account for as you choose a venue. The first consideration is an indoor or an outdoor venue. Which is a better fit for the kind of shower you’re hoping to throw? This will depend significantly on your region’s climate and even when you’re planning the shower.

The second consideration is options for seating arrangements and activity space. Will you plan:

• A seated shower with a meal?
• A more active shower with guests milling about and dynamic activities?
• Or a combination of the two?

Whatever your preference, choose a venue that can accommodate the style of shower you’re hoping for. 

To find flexible venues for hire by the hour that can accommodate intimate and larger celebrations alike—many of which you can even hire instantly—check out Peerspace’s array of bridal shower venues.

Matching your venue to your bridal shower guest list

Consider capacity first Your venue should comfortably accommodate all of your guests without feeling too cramped (or too empty, although this is less of a concern than overcrowding). Every Peerspace listing includes that venue’s estimated capacity in search results and at the top of the listing page. Account for flow Depending on the vibe you’re going for, you may want to choose a venue with a more open layout (which encourages mingling between guests) or a smaller space (which creates a more intimate feel). Activity-friendly spaces Your venue needs to work for the activities you’re planning. For instance, a sit-down brunch will require a dining table and chairs as well as access to a kitchen, while a bridal shower with lots of interactive games involving movement will need plenty of space for guests to move around. Indoor vs. outdoor Depending on where you’re located, you’ll need to factor in the season when deciding between planning an outdoor event (like a garden party) or using an indoor event space.

Digital age dynamics

One of the best things about planning a bridal shower (or just about any event) in this day and age? The ability to include guests who can’t make it in-person using virtual alternatives. But you’ll need a space with the right technology, such as a video camera and screen for streaming. Start searching to discover bridal shower spaces equipped for both in-person and virtual celebrations on Peerspace.

Social media can complicate guest list decisions. For instance, sharing photos from the bridal shower on Instagram or Facebook can hurt the feelings of those who aren’t invited. To avoid this, guests should be mindful of their social media posting about your shower. Be sure to set specific expectations in advance about privacy.

Essential Resources for Seamless Planning

Streamlined guest list organisation

Using organisational tools designed for event planning, communications, and budgeting can prevent confusion and unexpected last-minute headaches. 

As you send out shower invitations and other wedding information, use communication templates to avoid writer’s block. It also prevents leaving out any key logistical details (e.g., location, time, dress code, etc.). With some thoughtful customisation, no one will ever know you used a template.

After you’ve sent out your wedding shower invitations and are beginning to receive responses, a digital invitation management system will make sure you know exactly who you’ve invited and who has RSVP’d so far. The best versions of these tracking systems include RSVPify (which is free for gatherings of 100 guests or fewer!), Paperless Post, and Greenvelope. 

Event-specific budget planning guides can also be a big help in figuring out how many guests you can afford to include, among other details. Hitched notes that the average bridal shower costs as much as £150-£300 per person, though they share ideas on how to keep your budget to about £100pp.

Essentials for perfect timing

Invitation timing

Traditional etiquette dictates that bridal shower invitations should be sent out about six weeks before the event. However, this varies depending on whether you’re inviting local guests, out-of-town guests, or a combination of the two. Local guests may need four to six weeks’ warning, while out-of-town guests may need up to eight weeks to give them plenty of time to make travel arrangements. In general, the earlier you can send out the bridal shower invitations, the better.

Day-of scheduling

Your bridal shower doesn’t need a strict schedule. But planning a loose schedule can ensure your guests have a great time while enjoying all the activities you’ve planned. 

Here’s a sample outline for day-of bridal shower scheduling:

1. Welcome guests (15 minutes)
2. Introductions and icebreakers (30 minutes)
3. Drinks and meal/light snack (45 minutes)
4. Games (45 minutes)
5. Opening gifts (30 minutes)
6. Thank yous from bride (15 minutes)

Who to invite to a bridal shower: last words

Assembling an ideal bridal shower guest list requires balance. You have to account for the demands of tradition along with the bride’s preferences. Plus, you need to factor in family dynamics, social circles, budgeting, and venue selection. But as long as you’re methodical and follow the advice outlined above, the process needn’t be a daunting one.

As you put together this list, don’t forget to:

• Prioritise close family and friends
• Remain mindful of unique guest list situations, like blended families
• Co-ordinate the guest list with your planned venue capacity
• Send out your bridal shower invitations with plenty of time to spare

Are you ready to bring your celebratory vision to life? Join thousands of people who found their perfect bridal shower venue on Peerspace.